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Safety First Is Killing Me!

Posted on December 28, 2018September 22, 2023 By Sammy Younan

Had a unprompted moment of reflection about my life…the direction it’s going and the choices I’ve made.

Coming outta the kitchen with my Doctor Who mug filled to the top with tea the doorbell rang so I set the tea down and opened the door to find…a package right by the door and the UPS dude Carl-Lewis-Running back to his large brown van across the street: had this been an action movie the second I opened the door it would have been a terrifically large explosion!! BOOM!

But no BOOM!

It was just my Amazon package.

I’m drinking tea in a mug displaying a TARDIS a vehicle that can go anywhere in space and time and yet I’m at home pantslessly receiving Amazon packages.

Nobody is trying to take me out…why would they I don’t have any top secret secrets.

No dame with an agenda is toying with my heart only to get me to cough up the hidden location of the microfiche…I don’t even know what microfiche is!

I’ve been on this planet for decades and haven’t ever felt the bitter cold sting of being double crossed by a fellow agent…somebody I thought I knew and could trust.

My car has Sirius XM not rocket launchers…the seats as far as I can tell having never read the manual don’t eject in case of radical danger. I can’t remember the last time I was in danger!

I picked up the Amazon box, bringing it inside and went to get an exacto knife to open it…hopefully there’ll be an impossible mission inside this package that’ll self-destruct and I’m so gonna accept it.

-28-

True Sammy Stories Tags:Amazon, Comedy

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