My Summer Lair Chapter #318: When Was The Last Time You Experienced Online Kindness?
Imagine being estranged from your father.
That messy hurt. That sharp pain ever present casting a chilly shadow over every personal event. Even the good days. Especially the good days.
Filmmaker Tracie Laymon has grappled with this grim experience.
In an effort to reach out to her distant father…she put his name into Facebook. And was quickly friended…but wait…is this her Dad?
Turns out it was not. He was a total stranger from Wichita, Kansas. He had the same name as Tracie’s father (who also lived in Wichita). Now…what?
They stayed Facebook friends. They used the platform to correspond. They hit Like. And slowly…this stranger became her Facebook Dad.
Tracie tells me: “My (real) dad had never been to any of my screenings of my short films or anything like that. And it did affect me, you know, it made me sad that he’d never come out. I got some awards during this time and my Facebook Dad said, “Way to go, kiddo.”
“Way to go, kiddo” is exactly what a Dad is supposed to say.
That’s like half the job of being a Dad.
Tracie funneled her “way to go, kiddo” Facebook experience into a script then into a movie: Bob Trevino Likes It.
The movie opens in select cities and cinemas (including TIFF Lightbox in downtown Toronto) on March 21st. Check the link for the #PantsWorthy list.
This isn’t You Got Mail. This isn’t a boy meets girl story or movie.
Rather it’s the slow tender relationship where two people can fluently communicate in the same language because they’re both broken. Bob has lost his infant son and Lily is estranged and hurt by her real father. Pain is a universal language.
They’re both grieving loss and unsure how to move forward.
No one really knows what they’re doing.
Awkward is always gold for humour. And heart. (Facebook Bob even struggles with his wife also marred in grief. He wants to be a good dude for her and honestly? Sometimes that’s good enough.)
Tracie confirms: “To find that something so specific is indeed universal is overwhelmingly beautiful.” Then adds:
“You know it’s no longer just my story. It’s our story. Anybody who relates to this film; it’s their story, too.”
Our story applies to Facebook Bob and his wife, Jeanie (Rachel Bay Jones) their marriage fractured like their hearts as they grieve the loss of their infant son. Though neither has the capacity to give the other what they need anymore, they’re mutually supportive of the solitary (and lonely) avenues they explore to find the emotional nourishment they crave.
Our story applies to Facebook as that is where so many of us document our stories. It’s uncomfortable to say it out loud but we sometimes go there to be acknowledged, to love…and to be loved. Even if it’s just the warmth of strangers. That still counts.
Our story applies to Bob Trevino Likes It written and directed by Tracie Laymon. An uplifting ode to loving better, to allow others to love us better. And of course to celebrating strangers on Facebook.
This movie offers a completely different social media message from what we have heard lately. It’s the noble opposite of what we’ve seen the last little while as well. It’s easy to think common good is eroding. It’s easy to think but perhaps it isn’t true. It all sounds so serious and perhaps it is. There’s a gravity to love; romantically we talk about falling in love, after all.
Bob Trevino Likes It. I bet you will, too.
Welcome Tracie to My Summer Lair. She and I talk about Texas; we talk about healing and grace…the rare kindness of social media…we even get into scrapbooking which I think is the first time I’ve ever discussed that with a guest.
This My Summer Lair episode is as intimate as Bob Trevino Likes It.
Bob Trevino Likes It @ W • T • F
Host Sammy Younan
Recorded: Friday, March 7, 2025 at 1:05 pm (EST)
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