My Summer Lair Chapter #114: Are You Searching For Real Love?
There’s this weird assumption that dudes are somehow supposed to make it through life intuitively knowing how to save money and treat women properly and you know…be a man. Like it’s some sort of obvious concept: that males would effortlessly mature and evolve as smoothly as you move from room to room in your home.
That’s…not how life or love works.
Remember that old school Mary J. Blige song where she was actively “searching for Real Love?” Real love is why I chose to interview dating coach Minnie Lane rather than do a traditional interview with the documentary filmmakers (co-directors Matthew O’Connor and Barnaby O’Connor) or talk to a pick up artist in the documentary.
The pickup game is just a symptom…nobody who starts smoking really hopes to get lung cancer or emphysema. They start smoking because their friends are doing it or they look cool or because they have so much nervous energy and the process of pulling out the cigarette, lighting it, smoking it, I guess gets addressed. Multiple reasons why people start smoking and some of them are not gonna make sense.
And when it comes to dating and love and sex pickup culture is just a symptom. What Minnie Lane the dating coach confirms is that people are actively searching for genuine connection; like Mary J. Blige’s real love epic quest. Our society with social media; our naked indifference to the value of some lives and contempt for empathy is not designed for real love. We’ve eliminated vulnerability and decided it is easier to ghost people that are beneath us. That’s awful.
It’s easy to be critical of pickup game and the documentary does a good job of that. However that doesn’t interest me. The number of men who’ll sign up for these courses and seminars ,who read these books indicates a broad dissatisfaction with the current processes we have for finding real love.
I don’t know how we address that moving forward; Minnie Lane offers some difficult truths on how we many can succeed and become better lovers. You hope conversations like the one Minnie and I had will help; there’s a lot of hurt and rejection out there. Because what she shares is not only optimistic but it’s also inspiring which is like the best kind of love.
The Pickup Game Trailer:
Host Sammy Younan
Recorded: Thursday May 2, 2019 at 2:00 pm (at WeWork)
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