We got a Batgirl update!
An Eternals teaser!
And a celebrity comeback! Brew a strong tea: yo!
Batgirl: DC Films Update
Well this is awful: for Batgirl Warner hired Christina Hodson who “wrote” Birds of Prey then doubled down on that tank by hiring Bad Boys for Life directors. They suck…this time they were the Bad Boys. This’ll be the new Batman & Robin. I’m 100% out; I don’t need a trailer.
THR documents the Batgirl “project previously had Joss Whedon on board as writer and director. Whedon came on in March 2017 but left in April 2018, at the time saying he failed at cracking the story.” I mean Whedon wasn’t a good choice either (i.e. Avengers: Age of Ultron) but these latest hires are not hopeful. Barbra Gordon deserves better.
Kevin Spacey: Comebacks Are Inevitable
Variety has confirmed Kevin Spacey is will return to acting in L’uomo Che Disegnò Dio an Italian film directed by Franco Nero: While “Spacey would feature in a small role as a police detective” hmm: the indie film follows “the rise and fall of a blind artist who has the extraordinary gift of making true-to-life portraits just by listening to human voices.” Kevin Spacey’s return doesn’t sound as appealing as like his work in Baby Driver or even Se7en but eh: show me a trailer.
PSA: To be annoyed Spacey is still working doesn’t make any sense when Rob Lowe is doing just fine. That’s just trash morality. (Not that pop culture requires any moral calisthenics.) If ya can’t sit through his movies past or present without issuing a condescending moral diatribe you ain’t good at pop culture. I’m good.
Transformers: The Movie
I can’t believe it’s been 35 years!! Transformers: The Movie is released in 4K today to celebrate its 35th anniversary. Judd Nelson, Leonard Nimoy, Orson Welles and so much more. Prime’s passing is a nut-punch in the guts but man this animation movie is better than all Pixars combined.
Transformers: The Movie is coming out in glorious 4K! pic.twitter.com/ViYrr58bbw
— Alan Johnson (@TheAlanJohnson) May 21, 2021
It’s surreal. I do deeply appreciate how these creators forced us all to grow up before we were ready. Via this dynamic movie they talked to all of us like adults; not children. So much of of North American animation is “adult” jokes for bored parents and goofy characters for the kids: it’s all so dull. This is an amazing movie: it’s timeless.
Who Asked For This?!
“Timothée Chalamet to Star as Young Willy Wonka in Warner Bros. Reimagining.”
Johnny Depp tried to pull Willy Wonka off and it was a “Deppaster.”
And Depp is superior to Timothée Chalamet so…nah man. Hard Pass.
This punk kid needs a better agent and honest friends who’ll recommend he use the less douchey spelling of Timothy. Crash and Burn Huh Mav. 100% Out: Hard Pass.
The Next Last Dance…
“Netflix to Serve Documentary Series on Naomi Osaka Japanese Tennis Ace”
I don’t really know who Naomi Osaka is but she’s getting a Last Dance. That umm seems way too early.
July 13, 2021 on Netflix: 3 episodes. 3 episodes is a lot of viewer commitment…does she really win and dominate that much!!? Tiger on HBO was appalling awful yet only scrounged up 2 episodes. And he’s utterly dominant.
HBO Max: Putting the BO In HBO
According to Variety dumping theatrical movies onto HBO Max was a terrible life decision: No Guff. Idiots.
It’s bad business. It doesn’t matter what people are demanding on Twitter or if they’re swearing they’ll never return to cinemas. Leave em behind. That’s not a good or smart audience; they will not be profitable.
Airlines don’t advertise to nervous flyers.
Moreover, industry sources say the strategic move that made such a splash last December — when WarnerMedia at Kilar’s direction opted for simultaneous releases in theaters and on HBO Max for Warner Bros.’ 2021 movie slate — is seen as a major misstep because it is shaping up to cost the studio over $1 billion in lost box office revenue, talent profit participation payments and in high license fees paid for the movies from HBO Max. Unless the pace of HBO Max subscriber additions pick up significantly in the coming months, the high cost of the movie content for the streamer will be hard to justify.
We (collectively) overreact to a lot of bad metrics. This pandemic has been interesting because it revealed that a lot of people are just not good at risk management. Fear can be overwhelming. While I get it; fear is also temporary. Almost every horror movie has a sunrise. Instead of seeing fear; learn to see The Big Picture.
Trailer Alert: Eternals
Eternals teaser doesn’t alleviate the fears it will suck.
It’s an ambitious ask; their comics are not good; the characters are not captivating…yeah I dunno about investing cash money into this.
Also: Kumail Nanjiani is in Eternals. As a movie (granted a Marvel movie whose quality has generally been high and good) that’s already a hard sell: now his casting: ugh. He’s the male Mindy Kaling.
If MCU doesn’t follow a giant arc as we’ve seen with Avengers: Endgame I’m out…there’s no need for Eternals or Black Widow movies. Even with the pressure to evolve or die their formula.
I might phase out Phase Four of the MCU.
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Sammy Younan is the affable host of My Summer Lair: think NPR’s Fresh Air meets Kevin Smith: interviews & impressions on Pop Culture.
